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Stories

These are real stories of young people in Australia. Only the names have been changed.

Samantha’s story
Azeeza's story
Tara ’s story
My sister’s story
Talia’s story
Dave’s story


Samantha’s story

My situation is a tough one. I met him through one of my colleagues from work. We went out a few times and got on pretty well. We decided we would have sex next time we met – I let him know I only wanted to do it using a condom.

When the time came to put the condom on, though, he said he didn’t want to – I said “well let’s not go there then, we can just keep doing what we were doing”. But he got angry and said that I couldn’t stop him. He forced himself on me anyway. I was so upset, as soon as he was finished I got dressed and went home straight away.

I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to make a formal complaint to the police but wanted to let someone know and see what they could do. I knew it was rape. So I called the police. They came over and talked to me and we had an informal discussion – they said I didn’t have to report it formally and called it ‘blind reporting’.

I decided not to go ahead with a formal complaint – it’s just so hard to prove in a situation like that – but they said they could put the details on a database even though they couldn’t act on it in any way. Even though he wasn’t punished for what he did I’m glad I talk to the police at least, and they were pretty nice to me.

But it’ll take a while to get over it, to trust again …

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Azeeza’s story

I went to a party with Bill, a friend I grew up with. We met some of his friends at the party and everything seemed to be going well. I had a couple of drinks but not that many.

I don’t remember much, but I remember thinking “I feel really out of it” when we were in the taxi on the way home. I woke up in a bed at Bill’s friend’s place. I don’t know how I got there! I felt horrible and really scared and confused. My head was thumping, and my body felt sticky. I knew something had happened. I don’t know how, though. I don’t know if Bill had anything to do with it even!

Somehow I got home. I knew these guys – they were friends of Bill’s, and my family knew their parents too. I didn’t know what to do. I was in a daze and went to my GP. I was worried I’d been raped and might get pregnant, or some disease, and I didn’t know if they’d drugged me cos I knew I hadn’t drunk that much!

My doctor said it’s best not to shower or anything, so he helped me get to the hospital where they did some tests and gave me the morning after pill, and antibiotics in case of infections. I had had sex. I know I didn’t want to or agree to it, but couldn’t remember a lot. They said yes, that’s rape!

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Tara ’s story

I went out with my boyfriend Jason and we had a huge fight. He got really pissed off and left. I didn’t want to go with him cos I was really angry at him, so I stayed at the party.

Someone came up to me and asked how I was doing, came across all nice and concerned about me. We talked for an hour or so, and then he offered to give me a lift home. I was still messed up in the head about Jason leaving so I said “sure, thanks”. We started in the right direction, but then he took a wrong turn and parked in a dark street – he raped me in the car, it was disgusting. I kept pushing him and telling him to leave me alone but he wouldn’t.

Then he drove me home. I can’t believe it, as if nothing had happened. I was numb. I got in the flat and just cried. It was really late but I needed to talk to someone so I called my girlfriend Sal.

Sal was great. She said “wait there, I’m coming over”. I don’t know how I would have coped without her. She made a few calls for me and then someone from the rape crisis centre suggested we visit the local sexual assault service. There was one at the hospital close to my place, so we went there to talk to them.

I didn’t know how to tell Jason what happened. I didn’t know how he’d respond so I just wouldn’t talk to him anymore, I couldn’t handle telling him. I still haven’t talked to him about it, and I couldn’t face telling the police, but the social worker was really nice. She put into words what I was feeling. I’ve seen her quite a few times, and it’s good to know there’s someone there who understands and doesn’t blame me for the whole thing.

I kept asking “Was it my fault?” and thinking “I shouldn’t have gone with him” and “I was dressed kind of sexy”. But that was cos I wanted to look good for Jason. They never once blamed me, and said it wasn’t about what I did or wore – that lots of women get sexually assaulted when they’re not wearing sexy clothes too. They said he made a play for me and took advantage of me in the worst way. They were great.


My sister’s story

My sister Kate was raped. It was so horrible and so unfair. She didn’t know what was going on but she felt sore and abused. She’s got a disability and it was a guy that she’d met at square dancing. He said he was her boyfriend and she was really excited because she wanted a boyfriend. She was OK when he kissed her, but when he wanted to go further and tried to put his hand down her pants, she told him: “No, Mum says not to do this with anyone until I’m married”. He said he could cos he was her boyfriend!

Kate wasn’t saying anything when Mum picked her up, and Mum knew something had happened but she sure didn’t expect that! Mum asked her what happened and she wouldn’t say anything at first – just that she didn’t like the dances anymore and didn’t want to go next week.

I was there when they got home, and she told me. She said she was ashamed cos she did what Mum said she shouldn’t do. She told me she’d said no but he said he had to because he was her boyfriend. Then she just started crying and wouldn’t stop for ages. Mum came in and Kate said I could tell her, so I told Mum and we were so upset for Katie and really shocked.

After a while we called the people who organised the dance – they were shocked too, and couldn’t believe it at first. Then Mum got really angry with them, cos she said they didn’t look after Kate well enough. They apologised and said they’ll help. So they called the police and asked them what to do.

The police came over and talked to Kate and Mum and me, then they called the sexual assault service, who were great. They talked with Kate and got her checked out by a doctor and everything. The guy was charged, but we’re still waiting for the court case – it’ll be really hard, I think, but we don’t want him to get away with it.

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Talia’s story

I was at a party with some friends from school. This guy in the year above me was always trying to crack onto me, but I thought he was a bit creepy. I don’t know how it happened – he cornered me when I went out to the loo, and raped me behind the women’s toilets. I tried to tell him to stop but he had his hand over my mouth and kept threatening that he’d strangle me if I fought.

After he’d raped me he said “You asked for it, you know you wanted it”, but I didn’t – I hated it and I’d told him that. I can’t believe he could say what he said – he knew what he was doing.

I felt so dirty and ashamed I just went home – didn’t even talk to my friends. My friend Mel called me later that night cos it was weird I left without them, but I couldn’t say anything to her just yet. I told her later and she tried to get me to go to the school counsellor or someone but I just couldn’t face it.

I thought I was going mad. I couldn’t sleep after what had happened, but I was totally exhausted – I was afraid to go to sleep.

After a few weeks my Auntie noticed that I’d changed, I guess, and I told my Auntie about what happened and she spoke to the local Indigenous Health Worker who she knew, and then she contacted the local sexual assault service for me. It was great to hear someone say that it’s not my fault, and to be so understanding about everything.

If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have called the police either, since it was some time after the assault. They couldn’t get as much evidence as they would have liked but they still helped me out and found out what they could – they spoke to my friends who were there too. Even though it had been a while and there wasn’t really any physical evidence that they could use, the police still charged him.

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Dave’s story

I never thought that I could be raped. After all, I am a strong 19-year-old man capable of defending myself.

I met this amazing guy at uni. He was so romantic and always treated me well. He was more sexually experienced than I was, but respectful of my fear of sex. He assured me that I would learn to like it, just as he had.

He started to do things to help me get comfortable. Then one time he just started to have sex with me without my consent. I cried out for him to stop but he kept going. I felt ashamed that I didn’t feel comfortable about sex. It was my fault. But I also felt angry that he didn’t stop when I asked him to.

I told some of my gay friends afterwards but they just teased me and suggested that if I didn’t put out, someone else would. We had sex for several weeks before I talked to a counsellor and realised that I had the right to say no. And the time that I did say no and he continued, that was rape. When I told my boyfriend, he was offended and dumped me.

It took me a long time to recover from it and trust anyone again. But now I know that I can say no when I want to and people have to respect that. I now enjoy having sex again.

Dave’s story is about a gay guy being raped, but remember that heterosexual guys can be raped as well.

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