Guys and sex
Guys feel a lot of pressure about sex too, but in a different way to girls. There’s an expectation that guys should have sex as soon and as much as possible – if they don’t then they’re not ‘a man’.
There is very little about the real issues, like how to act respectfully to girls, how to have sex that is pleasurable for both of you, and the problems that arise when guys force girls into sex.
This applies no matter how well you know a girl. You might have just met at a party, or you might be in longer-term relationship. Whatever your situation, just remember:
It’s always good to talk to each other about sex before proceeding.
- Kissing or touching doesn’t always have to lead to intercourse.
- Sex is much more enjoyable for guys (and girls) when each partner feels appreciated and accepted for who they are, not made to feel uncomfortable or inadequate.
- When girls say ‘no’ they mean it (even though there is a myth that when a girl means ‘no’ really means ‘yes’).
- You can learn a lot from watching her body language (silence or stillness doesn’t necessarily mean ‘go ahead’ – she might just be too shy to say no).
- Being drunk or out of it on drugs is no excuse for behaving aggressively or not respecting her wishes.
- If she’s drunk or out of it, it doesn’t mean she’s ‘fair game’.
- Pressuring girls into sex is never OK. In fact it’s a crime that you can be charged for (see Sexual rights).
- If you don’t like how one of your mates is treating his girlfriend or another woman, talk to him about it.
