Guys as victims

Rape is frightening for anyone
But it's also different for guys
Getting help or more information

Many people think that rape 'can't happen to guys.' It's amazing how strong and wrong this belief is in society. Men are supposed to be tough, strong and able to protect themselves. People think that guys can't ever be forced into sex.

Although women are the majority of victims of adult sexual assault, it does happen to guys too. And as with female victims, guys are usually assaulted by other men.

Rape is frightening for anyone

Rape is a very frightening experience for anybody. Some of the things mentioned on this site will apply to both male and female victims of sexual assault, such as:

shame
self-blame
helplessness
fear of not being believed.

But it's also different for guys

There are some issues to do with date rape that apply particularly to guys:

society doesn't like to admit male rape happens
being a victim is very hard to handle for guys
guys may 'punish themselves' with self-destructive behaviour
for heterosexual men, it may cause some confusion about their sexuality (the truth is you do not 'become gay' as a result of being raped)
for gay men, it can lead to self-blame and self-loathing, as if they 'deserved it' for being gay (this is also completely untrue).

This is a very brief summary of this complex issue (based on information at www.free-to-soar.org/malesurvivor.htm). For more information see the websites listed below.

Getting help or more information

Sexual assault services help both female and male victims of sexual assault. You can talk to a counsellor to get support, ideas and information about what you should do.

There are several websites that deal especially with male sexual assault that you can access for more information - check out the following links. Most of these sites include information on myths and realities, common reactions to sexual assault, issues faced by male victims, tips on how to look after yourself and sections for family and friends.

Australian sites

www.secasa.com.au/survivors/men_s_faq_s.html

www.katesfeminist.info/rape/male/ - features a web resources list about male sexual assault.

A 58-page information booklet that you can download or read as a PDF file: www1.health.nsw.gov.au/ecav/ProdRes/pamphlets/whenamanisraped%20.asp

'Who Can A Man Tell?' Information for men who were sexually assaulted as children, their parents, spouses and friends:

www1.health.nsw.gov.au/ecav/ProdRes/pamphlets/whocanamantell.asp

A website about violence and homophobia on the Anti-Violence Project website, ACON (AIDS Council of Australia):

http://avp.acon.org.au/help.htm

US sites

www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/maleassault/menassault.html

www.callrape.com/malerape.html

UK sites

www.free-to-soar.org/malesurvivor.htm